i spent my holiday with my grandfather. lame to some, priceless to me. as i wrapped up middlesex, the reality of genetics was made even more apparent. we spent hours going through old photographs. asking and answering questions. learning secrets that no one else knows. reading newspaper articles and obituaries.

i have yet to figure out where my hair color comes from. as far as i know, the only person that has blond hair on either side, is my aunt tina. i realized a few years ago that i look just like my dad in our high school graduation photos. expression. eye brows. pretty much everything. my dad has a lot of my grandfather in him. he is a spitting image of his great grandfather. things that killed then, are trivial now. one of my relatives slowly choked from a lack of iodine. another from a leaky heart. lots of them were innovative. many of them look ethnic. spanish or something. i haven't figured it out yet. jet black hair, all of them, most of them with pale skin, lots of them with blue eyes.

the most important thing i learned of all was this: some of us spend our whole lives trying to outrun age. when it finally catches up with us, ironically, it often brings youth as a companion.

we found two things i hadn't thought about, or don't remember from my youth. the first: 1/2 a roll of film of my best friend, and basically first girlfriend, angie. i wish i still talked to her. i wonder what she's like now. if she realizes what kind of impact she made. second, this letter--customized on my apple II plus with an envelope with a drawing of fighter planes bombing a ship that said U.S.S. Arizona:

12.3.88
6859
Dear Grandpa,
I've been wonderng if you could come up here and Talk about World War II. How did you like the stationary with airplanes? I made it on my computer. If you can come if you have souveniors of metels PLEASE bring them! What have your been up to latley? Merry Christmas! Dad played againest his friend in Racet Ball his friend beat him. Dads knee popped out and it hurts him alot.

with
lotsof
love

rka