..::03.07.06::..
i'm feeling better. had a rather bad spell there for awhile. kind of scary. i can write about this now...cause i think i'm ok. but i felt like the world broke up with me. some people moved to other places, both geographical and emotional, and i didn't want to follow. and mostly that's fine. but sometimes it sucks. and it's lonely. and i hate it. i'm feeling more and more that there are so few that get me and likewise. i cherish the relationships i've kept up over distance and time. wouldn't give them up for the world. but sometimes it's nice to have someone nearby too. lately that face has been not the same one i'm used to. and i'm glad there are people, but i miss the one that used to be there always. and it's hard for me to explain our relationship to others, but right now i'm considering severing ties to save myself. i'm having a hard time not stressing and the good doesn't seem to outweight the lacking as of late. but i hate games. and i like to see this person. so i'm lost as to what to do.
i'm reminded of lisel mueller's line "the sound of sound breaking" and without being able to explain how really, it's exactly how i feel.
