..::sparkle and fade::..

..::02.12:07::..
things have been strange lately. i've been overthinking most likely everything and not sleeping as restfully as i probably should. currently i'm escaping a dinner party--where i was once relaxed, i am now completely worked up. work talk. heart a flutter. frustration. two talk of therapy and i'm asked if i have ever gone. "no." seconds later and something large hits the window. a ball of ice and snow. i joke that it's a sign. maybe it should be. for now i just take pleasure or pain in my dreams whatever they may be.

this morning. a dream. i know it is a dream. something that is and of itself unusual. there is an old man whose face resembles a peach pit standing next to a gray spaniel of some sort. small--like a cocker. i pet the dog. tactical sense (also usual). the dog is incredibly soft. i realize that the man is in the middle of the street. he is staring off into the distance. somewhere else. the bus is coming. oddly i know that the bus will go through him. it hits him behind the legs and it forces him to sit down. i ask him if he is ok. he says yes. i ask him his name. "walter." "where do you live?" "112 north division." i tell him i'll take him home. to make sure he gets there ok. along the way i hear that he has two daughters and a son. i consider taking him to my home--ridiculous--could be a psycho killer. definitely not, but should take him to his own home. he is the company i long for. i don't want to leave. tell him i can come back to take care of him etc. there is some vision here of my grandfather young, but i'm not sure how it fits. somehow i hope that one day i'll hear from him or see the dog again.