..::11.05.08::..
i have been bad about writing lately. things have been too hectic. too cray. i have lost three keys to my computer. perhaps i will get them repaired soon. tomorrow i start a new job. it's like the first day of school. i'm anxious, nervous, excited and ultimately thinking of what i will wear to make that first impression. but i don't care too much. just gives me something harmless to think about so i don't sweat the big stuff.
***
somewhere between indianapolis and chicago there is a two-sided sign, highway side. eastbound it reads "hell is real" in white all capital letters. eastbound i am driving to ohio. to my grandmother. to the reality of frailty. of old. westbound the sign reads "jesus is real." this is still on all black. not on all white as i'd have thought. i think i've thought about it every time i've driven the drive. i think it's always been there. but both ways meant something for me this time. jesus isn't in chicago. and i like that it doesn't say that heaven is real. that's nice somehow...i take it as hope. but i still wonder what group leased the sign. the space. made the sign. and pays exhorbent funds to keep it there. no credit. hrm.
***
from the shipping news by annie proulx
*what had he expectedwhen he married? not his parents' discount-store life, but something like partridge's backyard--friends, grill smoke, affection, and its unspoken language.
*rude winks about rough lads who might be going away for an "irish vacation."
*to prevent slipping, a knot depends on friction, and to provide friction there must be pressure of some sort. this pressure and the place within the knot where it occurs is called the nip. the security of a knot seems to depends solely on its nip.
*when are you kids going to do the deed? he switched off the light, turned in the gloom of the shop and looked at uoyle. uoyle wasn't sure which deed he meant. the crack that was yark's mouth elongated, not a smile so much as a forcing apart of seams that went with the bluent uestion. to force uoyle's seams apart. and other forced seams implicit.
*the wind, he thought, was blowing so hard it was like a cap over the chimney. if that was possible. "blow the hair off a dog," he said. and his own dog, elvis, twisted her ears, the skin on her back shuddered.
