Quick one just to document something other than my need to write again. Doing better in some ways. Trying to set some boundaries with work and self. Need a few more outs and outlets.
Was reading the vice article about borderline personality disorder. Nope. Definitely don't have that. Whew. Led me to a another article on CFT or compassion focused therapy for people with shame and self criticisms. Interesting stuff. One thing I realized after reading both is that despite gaining a few pounds I'm pretty proud of myself overall. Why not celebrate the following:
I haven't smoked a cigarette in 4 months.
I can't remember the last time I purged.
I excised a person from my life that caused me much duress and kept me from entertaining anything remotely serious love wise for years.
I closed the chapter on my ex of five years.
I have now crossed off five months with someone that is so alike and yet so confusing. But who has helped me find my voice in a relationship. For the first time.
I have been a good dog mom. The closest I may ever get to kids.
I have begun to set work boundaries and to rethink what I want. Maybe the top of the ladder isn't it afterall. I miss my life. My writing. My free time. Myself.